Tomorrow morning, Isaac, Owen, and I get the opportunity to spend some time in the morning with three different home-schooling families. After much research, thought, and prayer, I really feel like God is tugging my heart in the direction of home school for our kiddos, and that I would be foolish to ignore it completely.
My biggest worry is that I won't have enough patience to do it. I love my two little guys more than words can express, but on more occasions than one, their behavior/attitudes have often left me wanting to just be by myself for rest of the day! Most of the moms I know with kids in school get *so much* done throughout the day, because it's less kids to worry about at home. I'll miss out on that..... I'm not even worried about them "not being around other kids." That is the FIRST thing people say to me when I mention that I have thought of home school. My children are already well acquainted with other kids by the nature of my job. But, outside of that, I plan on giving them plenty of opportunities outside of our home to interact with, and learn to work with, other children, in both individual and team/group settings. I know that is important!
My biggest reason for feeling tugged in this direction? I was blessed with my children. I know that. No matter how much I may feel like losing my mind one day, my love for them is just unending. I can be so upset with them at the end of a day, and then be picking up and see a random little set-up they did of their toys....and then I'll remember how excited they were to tell me the "story" of that setup. These are the moments you can't get back. Every day, every memory made with them, is a moment that I am shaping their lives in subtle, yet dramatic ways. I am their *best* teacher. Look at how far they've come already. I can only imagine how much more I can teach them, what WE will learn together, and how much more enriched their lives will be to have the freedom to learn on their own terms, at their own pace, and with hands on experiences available to them constantly. If they get tired of a subject, they don't need to space out until "class" is over...we can take a break. Our school system has changed dramatically, and I don't want one of my kids to just be swept along by the good fortune of having smart group-mates. I have teacher friends who worry about some of their students (but can't do much about it, because, after all, the group earned that grade!), and I have had other teacher friends (of the older variety), who have highly encouraged me to home school. They have seen the dramatic shift, first-hand.
So....with Isaac already eligible for 3 year old preschool, now is the time to get started. If I decide to send him to school next year, I want to know that sending him to the 4 year old preschool was the right decision because home school just wasn't going to be the perfect fit. Something I can't shake though, and something that sticks out to me whenever I'm praying about this decision.....there is just something about HOME that doesn't leave my heart. I guess home really is where the heart is!