Tuesday, August 21, 2007

A True Friend

Being stressed out has a really fantastic way of making one evaluate their situation, their life, their world. I have lately been feeding this monster of self-pity that lives inside me; so much so that my "woe is me" self has been presented over and over again to the world. I have been reflecting on how I always seem to be on the receiving end of a back-stabbing, gossiping, or otherwise unhealthy friendship, despite my efforts to salvage any of it. Blake has always been my source of refuge, my rock. He will never understand how much I truly appreciate and love him.

Outside of Blake, I have been very rudely awakened about the state of some of the friendships in my life, and humbled about others. Unfortunately, I've realized that some of my "friends" have not actually been friends at all, while others have proved that they are really great friends. Why should I have to be judged about life decisions by my friends when they are the ones who should be supporting me...even
if, heaven forbid, I make a bad decision? Why don't they respect my opinions when I'm always expected to respect theirs? Why are they jealous that I have made new friends? Why does misery love company?

The questions above are questions I should not have to ask when it comes to my friends! With
true friends, I would not be asking those questions. Those great true friends of mine have consistently supported, loved, and humbled me throughout this whole ordeal. I am lucky to be able to count my family and siblings among my true friends, which is not something everyone can say. Blake will always be a true, lifelong, friend to me, and I have discovered at least one more kindred spirit in this world. To that one new person, you know who you are, I am so happy to have you in my life...you are truly a delight and a gift from God. Thank you.

I am pulling excerpts from a lovely post on true friendships...this is how I would like to continue to define these true friendships in my life:

"Genuine friendship involves a shared sense of caring and concern, a desire to see one another grow and develop, and a hope for each other to succeed in all aspects of life. True friendship involves action: doing something for someone else while expecting nothing in return; sharing thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or negative criticism.

True friendship involves relationship. Many people say, "Oh, he's a good friend of mine," yet they never take time to spend time with that "good friend." Friendship takes time: time to get to know each other, time to build shared memories, time to invest in each other's growth.

Trust is essential to true friendship. We all need someone with whom we can share our lives, thoughts, feelings, and frustrations. We need to be able to share our deepest secrets with someone, without worrying that those secrets will end up on the Internet the next day! Failing to be trustworthy with those intimate secrets can destroy a friendship in a hurry. Faithfulness and loyalty are key to true friendship. Without them, we often feel betrayed, left out, and lonely. In true friendship, there is no backbiting, no negative thoughts, no turning away.

True friendship requires certain accountability factors. Real friends encourage one another and forgive one another where there has been an offense. Genuine friendship supports during times of struggle. Friends are dependable. In true friendship, unconditional love develops. We love our friends no matter what and we always want the best for our friends."

This summer has been a very telling one for me. I have learned who I can count among my true friends and who has not been the best friend to me that I know they can be. I have determined, that in order for you to have true friends, you must also be a true friend yourself. Which, in hindsight, may not have been something that I have always been. Instead, becoming a true friend has been quite the journey, and it is something that I've learned only recently. However, because I now believe I have the capability to be a true friend, I therefore understand and appreciate the value of true friendships much more.

Who are your true friends? Are you a true friend to someone?
Are your "true friends" really true? To those true friends of mine: I promise to be the truest friend to you that I know I can be. I love you.

some of my truest friends....my family! :)

1 comment:

michelle said...

Thank you Becky!

I was listening to LANCHcast and a song came on that I had been listening to earlier in the summer but forgot about it. And then I heard it play again today soon after I read your post...it reminded of it...idk if you're heard it but it's

Someone to Fall Back On by Jason Robert Brown

check it out ;)